Lists - Page: 1 of 1
SickDawgs Most Desirable Women
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--Go back and visit the 14" Graduate and everyone on the home page. Don't forget to email the 14" Graduate!!!
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I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis,
She tried to take me upstairs for a ride.
She had to heave me right across her shoulder
'Cause I just can't seem to drink you off my mind.
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My friends and I were thinking up our own list of the most desirable women. Here are some of them:
He's got 14 inches on you.
The 14" Graduate:
1 Salma Hayek-Desperado, why don't you come to your senses and come to me?
2 Stacy Sanches-Me gusta Stacy Sanches.
3 Katarina Witt-I can think of a few places for her to spin.
4 Pamela Anderson-Tommy Lee's small. I got 14 inches.
5 Shannon Elizabeth-I'd like to taste her American Pie.
6 Sharon Stone-I have an ice-pick for her to use.
7 Carmen Electra-Hey baby, I'd single you out any day.
8 Elle McPherson-Totally Titilizing.
9 Nicole Eggert-She should have kept them.
10 Jenny McCarthy-I wouldn't mind being the water in her hot-tub.
The Original and Only FA. Buddha, Computer Tech. Kentwood, Michigan
David Levian:
1 Abagail from the Kalamazoo Deja Vu-Well, I might not see her again, but there's no way I'll ever forget her.
1 Salma Hayek-I love those Latino's.
3 Katarina Witt-Yes, just like everyone there, I'd go through Betty White to get to Katarina too.
4 Stacy Sanches-Everytime I see her picture, all I can say is, "damn she's hot."
5 Jennifer Lopez-She could hop on my train.
6 Shannon Elizabeth-I can't dance that good, but I can last a whole hell of a lot longer.
7 Catherine Zeta Jones-Do you know that sword swallowing trick?
8 Sandra from Schaumburg's Hooters-It's hard to make eye contact with people like her.
9 Renee Zellweger-Something about that smile just melts me.
10 Female Singer for Lucero-I think this is a latin group or it's just a female singer, I'm not sure. I know she got me to watch the spanish channel for 2 hours without understand more than 5 words.
Mike Walling: Produce boy-Big Top Market, Plainwell, MI.
1 Jennifer Lopez-I'll wrap my anaconda around her.
2 Salma Hayek-She's not number 1 because I have to be different.
3 Heather Graham-Oh behave baby, yeah.
4 Shania Twain-Back to the list after a short hiatus.
5 Talisa Soto-Two dollar suckie, suckie.
6 Yasmine Bleeth-Skinny dippin' and hard nippin'.
7 Kathy Ireland-I love KMart. Especially when I'm near the bra's.
8 Stacy Sanches-Gotta love the latino's.
9 Cathrine Zeta Jones-She could teach me to play with my sword.
10 Jennifer Love Hewitt-I know what she should do this summer.
Mikey Benson: My Life Sucks. I need to get laid. Any offers? Only women please.
1 Vanessa Marcil-Almost makes me want to watch 90210...almost.
2 Shannon Elizabeth-If I could get her at the end of a movie, I'd go through an apple pie too.
3 Liv Tyler-One stoned night in the 70's equals one happy man in the 90's.
4 Alyssa Milano-She's hot. I've wanted her ever since I was about 10 year's old.
5 Jewel-She is still hot, and that video is still awesome.
6 Jennifer Lopez-Being that she's this high on my list, I should probably go see one of her movies sometime.
7 Cameron Diaz-I wouldn't mind feeling her Minnesota.
8 Angelina Jolie-She could light my fire anyday.
9 Elizabeth Hurley-I'd never forget her pussy...cat.
10 Nikki Cox-Love those redheads but is getting closer to falling off.
Brian Bither: The only Loptoe: This list is in no particular order:
Michelle Pfeiffer-a Mainstay of beauty.
Uma Thurman-I would like Pulp Liasons.
Pussy Galore (from James Bond)-That woman was an advertising genius!
Heather Graham-Viva la belle american!
Cameron Diaz-There IS something about Cameron.
Salma Hayek-La mejor bonita senorita.
Elizabeth Hurley-She has got it going on!
Dolores O'Riordan (Cranberrries)-Her Voice lulls me...
Elisabeth Shue-How about Adventures in BitherSitting?
Jenny McCarthy-Gorgeous and Vociferous.
Greg English: Stripper in North Carolina
1 Salma Hayek-The most popular woman of the lists.
2 Alicia Silverstone-I got a big clue.
3 Mariah Carey-I'll help with high notes.
4 Toni Braxton-Would you like my microphone?
5 Julia Roberts-Oh, Oh Pretty Woman.
6 Jennifer Lavoi-She's more than a woman to me.
7 Courtney Cox-Is it cold in here or is it just you?
8 Kathy Ireland-Table for two?
9 Pamela Anderson-Good body, bad taste in men.
10 Drew Barrymore-She could start a fire under me.

Ken Summers:: Kalamazoo, MI. Scares people.
1 Kathy Ireland-Any day in the sand.
2 Vendela-Hey guys, tuna.
3 Eva Herzigova-Sweet innocence is such a lovely thing.
4 Cindy Crawford-I don't like gerbil's.
5 Sandra Bullock-Two if by land, two if by sea, any way I look at it, it's going to be fun for me.
6 Meg Ryan-I'm steering z boat.
7 Shania Twain-Turned me into a country lover.
8 Stacy Williams-Long legs, golden brown body. My, my, my, does she have a body.
9 Nina Pearson-I lost my soul to those deep blue eyes.
10 Carrie Ferral-Oh my stars.

Bill Myers: The Flaming Homo.
1 Rebecca Romijn-Too lazy to think of one.
2 Elizabeth Hurley-That's right, it's just a cover.
3 Natasha Henstridge-Too pathetic to think of one
4 Jennifer Love Hewitt-Too dumb to think of one
5 Rebecca Gayheart-Too full of myself to think of one.
6 Teri Hatcher-Too busy jerking off playing baseball on my computer to think of one.
7 Uma Thurman-Too busy jerking off playing with myself to think of one.
8 Elizabeth Shue-Still too lazy to think of one.
9 Brigitte Neilsen-Too busy staring at the wall to think of one.
10 Sheryl Crow-Are you believing I like women yet?
Honerable Mention: Granny-Who's Your Grandma???

Dave Siwik: College participant, beer lover, a person with a firm belief that Iowa is the most boring state in the Union. Produce boy-Big Top Market.
1 Salma Hayek-My Desperado.
2 Erika Elaniak-Trade the cake in for me.
3 Elle McPherson-McDo-me.
4 Sandra Bullock-I've got something better than a bus to drive.
5 Helen Hunt-Tornadoes should be the least of your concerns.
6 Liv Tyler-And you think you've lived!!
7 Tyra Banks-Bank on this!
8 Cindy Crawford-A craw doesn't sound bad now.
9 Sandra from Schaumburg's Hooters-I will remember you.
10 Michelle Pfeiffer-Five years gone and still going strong.

Joe Temple: Nose-Job Girl. I heard he likes young little girls.
1 Rosanne Barr-She's twice the man I'll ever be.
2 Mimi from Drew Carey-I do love her makeup.
3 Rosie O'Donnell-So obnoxious she almost matches me.
4 Carney Wilson-Can't believe her sister is that repulsive.
5 Mama Cass-I'd be California dreamin' for that.
6 Chicks with Dicks Phone Sex Ad women-They have everything I like.
7 Rupaul-Refer to # 6.
8 Miss Piggy-I just hope I'm strong enough to kick Kermit's ass.
9 Dee Snider from Twisted Sister-What a woman.
10 Sandra Bernhard-Those lips just do it for me. Needs to lose some weight though.
Here are lists for the women:

Janet A. Garcia: Palm Tree Surfer. South Beach Wishes & Coconut Butter Dreams!
1 Dylan McDermott-He can Practice on me all night long! (she purrs)
2 Andy Garcia-Ooo la la, "Latin Lover"!
3 Alejandro Fernendez-what a voice.... What A Body! WHAT A MAN!
4 Antonio Banderas-Hmm, maybe it's the mask?
5 George Clooney-"Would you like to play Doctor?"
6 D.B. Sweeny - For some reason, he simply lights my fire!
7 John Travolta - I'd melt under his 6'4 stature!
8 Mel Gibson - I want his Lethal Weapon!
9 Alec Baldwin-Ooo, now there's a bad boy.
10 Al Pacino - The pure Essence of a confident man who oozes sex appeal!

Jamie Belanger. The Lotus Maiden
1 Val Kilmer-... IS Jim Morrison.
2 Keanu Reeves-It's hard to compete with "the One."
3 Antonio Banderas-Sizzle.
4 Harrison Ford-Age is irrelevant.
5 Brad Pitt-Pretty boy, yes... but... pretty!
6 Epoch-Ok, so that's not his REAL name... Matrix me.
7 Duncan McLeod-The actor thereof. =)
8 Tom Cruise-A little too preppy-boy, but he makes the list!
9 Steve Buschemi & Ian Malkovitch-For coolness factor.
10 Nathan Thomas-You don't know him. ;) My baby!

Marie Roarks
1 Keanu Reeves-His smile makes me sweat.
2 Andre Braugher-He also has a smile to melt me.
3 John Sada-He can investigate me anytime.
4 Matt Lauer-Even though he got married, he can still interview me.
5 Cuba Gooding Jr.-My Dreams may come,,
6 John Travolta-He can jumpstart my heart any time!!
7 Nicholas Cage-No words, just wow!
8 Michael Douglas-That attraction is fatal, he may be old but still sexy.
9 Brad Pitt-He can bite my neck anytime...
10 Noah Wyle-Do you think he would do a private exam on me?

Jocelyn Nietzsche
Top Ten Men
1 Stone Cold Steve Austin-My sole remaining reason for watching wwf.
2 Adrian Paul-I'd like to feel the cut of his sword.....
3 Chris Joannou- mmmmmmmm........
4 Layne Staley-He has the most wonderful voice in the world.
5 Kevin Smith-Ares from Xena and Hercules....*drool*
6 Vincent Perez-I wonder if dead men can perform.....
7 Luc Longley-Maybe it's that Aussie accent, or maybe it's sheer size.
8 That guy who plays the new alien in Species 2-I dunno I just think he's sexy.
9 Those guys from Soldier of Fortune-They're all nice and buff, action ready.
10 Chris Conrad(Jason from Young Hercules)-He's a feast for the eyes and as an added bonus his shirt is always off...

Top Ten women
1 Kate Winslet-She is utter perfection.....I think it's about time there was a gorgeous woman with curves instead of that caved in junkie chest look.
2 Lucy Lawless-She's Xena...and no one could ever fill out that micro mini armor like she does.
3 Melinda Clarke-Fabulous in Spawn....a bitch with guns wearing latex.....and she gets to hang around with all those hotties in Soldier of Fortune.
4 Famke Janssen-Her character in Goldeneye could make a thighmaster scream for mercy....she remains my favorite Bond girl.
5 Courtney Love-The bitch goddess cometh
6 Uma Thurman
7 Debi Mazar-The accent adds sexiness.
8 Ani Difranco-Sold out and married a man but she's still a major babe.
9 Mia Kirshner-Simply gorgeous, perfection acheived.
10 Stacy Haiduk-I'd give up 10 years of my life to look like her.

Batgirl
1 R.L. Grogan-The sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on. Take me home or lose me forever!!!
2 Garth Brooks-Cowboy hat, jeans, and money. Who could want more?
3 Brad Pitt-Legends of the Fall. Need I say more?
4 Val Kilmer-The eyes definiately. He could be my Batman anytime.
5 Sting-Mysterious, sexy, and silent...wow!!!
6 Tim McGraw-Great voice. Great body. Great goatee.
7 Bill Pullman-He's just a doll.
8 Dante Bichette-Very distracting when trying to watch the game.
9 Tom Beranger-Yea an old guy, but a cute old guy.
10 George Clooney-Yummy. We shall see how he does as Batman.

Brandy Morehouse: The woman we all really want. (in Jason's eyes)
1 Mark Grace-Slide one in for me!
2 Sammy Sosa-That smile gets me every time.
3 Michael Jordan-Just wait till I get MY hanes on you!!!
4 Dan from Big Boy-Ohh Jim, how do I love thee?
5 Matt from Applebee's-Who wouldn't be a happy camper with you?
6 Matt Damon-I could wrap myself around him any day.
7 Val Kilmer-What I wouldn't give for a moment alone.
8 Antonio Banderas-Enough said.
9 Lorenzo Lamas-He could ride me like his motorcycle.
10 Sean Connery-Do-able for an old guy.

Lists that have been sent to me:

Carlos Luis Serrano II
1 Salma Hayek-Yo quero una Latina!
2 Christy Turlington-Ohhh Amore...
3 Nikki Cox-Oh yeah...
4 Kimmy Beresford-Crunch Fitness Queen NYC.
5 Gina Gershwin-Super Sexy..Hot Mama!
6 Yasmine Bleeth-I need a private mouth to mouth lesson.
7 Milah Javovich-The "Mold" has definitley been broken...If only ...
8 Bjork-Good thing=Small package.
9 Julia-Louis Dreyfuss-"Get out!" No really, I want you!
10 Margo-The Greek Goddess of Westchester.

Vassario
1 Gwynn Steffani (No Doubt)-With that little girl look, how can you not fall in love with her.
2 Cindy Crawford-Super Model extrodinaire.
3 Michelle Pfeiffer-The only Catwoman.
4 Vannessa Marcil-One of the 10 most beautiful women in the world.
5 Idalis-MTV.
6 Jenny McCarthy-Blonde, stupid, but beautiful.
7 Cari Otis-Never seen a woman look sexier on a Harley.
8 Daisy Fuentes-A Latin beauty.
9 Liv Tyler-You just have to dream about kissing those lips.
10 Karen Weber-The most beatiful woman in the world (also my girlfriend).

Krausee
1 Yvonne-Absolutely beautiful auburn hair, precious lips, a body to hold tightly, and a certain way she holds herself that makes you cringe with desire.
2 Cynthia Shaw-The cutest nurse in the world
3 Lynda Thurow-Personality, looks, breasts, and soft lips... (she'd be #1 except the other two really have my heart )
4 Kelly Vaughn-wish i knew where she was now. Kelly won my heart in 1985.
5 Katie-cutest special ed teacher in cleveland. I proposed to Katie in the parking lot of the Big Kahuna in Schaumburg/Rolling meadows Illinois.
6 Donna-Well, she's from Melbourne, FL.. lives in Boston.
7 Kimberly-A dancer in Vegas. Blonde, 5'7" and a wonderful friend.
8 Laura-A high power whirlpool executive by now.
9 Karen McQuillkin-She can sell me running shoes anyday. The cutest and fastest runner I have ever met.
10 Hegla Fuenfhausen-She can heal people with just a kind look.

Steve Golac
1 Kristy Swanson-AND she's a VERY good gymnist.
2 Shania Twain- She's Flawless
3 Julia Louis-Dreyfuss- Ohh those lips. There's something about this
woman.
4 Lisa Kudrow- Love those long legs.
5 Shirley Manson- I have no idea why, but whenever I see a Garbage video
I get VERY hard.
6 Kathleen Robertson- The 90210 girl can sit on me anytime.
7 Daphne Zuniga- Oh WHY did you leave Melrose Place??
8 Josie Bisett- Let me grab your knockers.
9 Alanis Morrisette- She HAS to pose nude sometime.
10 Meg Ryan- She's so cute & sexy as hell.

Chris Hoe
1 Erika Elaniak-Her beauty is a joy forever.
2 Liz Hurley-Fit.
3 Lisa Snowdon-What great sex appeal.
4 Meg Ryan-There's just something about her.
5 Elle McPherson-The body.
6 Estelle Eskornik-One for the future.
7 Danni Behr-Exuding sexyness.
8 Madchen Amick-Velumptious.
9 Cindy Crawford-Still going strong.
10 Catherine Zeta Jones-Look at her eyes!
If you have a list, send it to me along with your name, and town.
Someday, everything's gonna be different.
When I paint my masterpiece.
Drink the Official Beer of the SickDawgs Most Desirable Lists Page: Corona!!!
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Be responsible when you drink, don't drink and drive.
The SickDawgs Lists & Links Page does not condone under age drinking, but what other's don't know, won't hurt you.
Would you want the best for me,
And I hope I find the kind of love you can't feel for me.
Could you find it in your heart,
To end this thing right now before it's gone too far
Let me go and give me up
Do you love me, do you love me, do you love me that much?
Do you love me that much?
Bither & Benson's Best Beer Choices:
1 Kilkenny's Irish Stout-Only overseas.
2 Dos Equis (Amber or Special) with a lime-Damn what a combo!!!
3 Labatt's Blue-Smooth sippin'.
4 Guiness-Meal in a glass.
5 St. Pauli Girl (Dark or Regular)-What a woman.
6 Bass Pale Ale-Bass kicked my a**.
7 Corona-A lime is needed.
8 Stroh's-An unbelievable domestic.
9 Huber Bach-Huber 2000 (for Kevin Sangsland)
10 Warsteiner-Get it in the big can.
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When the Many are reduced to One, to what is the One reduced?--Zen Koan
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Here we are at the happiest place on earth, before it started to suck. Schaumburg's Hooters had a great atmosphere, great food, and lovely waitresses. From L-R: Mikey, Brian, Myself, Jim, Dave, and Dan. Since Sandra is on so many lists, she is the one in front of Jim and myself.
You're the cutest thing that I ever did see. I really love you peaches, wanna shake your trees.
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Here we are in our ties. We love our ties. From L-R: Mike Benson, Myself, and Mike Walling. Through the wonders of photo enhancement Brian is also there.
This is the Where's Waldo version of the web page to weed out those individuals who no one likes.
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Here is our own version of a 21 gun salute. Cheers everyone.
Hey look, a Jackass!
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I try to tell everyone that Brian is a wacky and crazy guy. No one believes me. If any of Brian's friends or roomates see these pictures of him, give him hell. You're welcome Brian!!!
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Won't you join us for a drink? Take off your shoes and stay for a while.
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...I will walk alone by the black muddy river...
...And dream me a dream of my own...
...I will walk alone by the black muddy river...
...And sing me a song of my own...
...And sing me a song of my own...
This page is in no way affiliated with Corona, any of the other beer's mentioned on this page or The Grateful Dead.
Or anything else that I might have missed.
Re-broadcast or other use of this page without the expressed written consent of SickDawgs and the 14" Graduate is prohibited.
All characters on this page are real. Any similarity to fictional characters is completely coincidental.

No animals were harmed in the making of this web page.
This page is ozone friendly and environmentally safe.
...In a soldier's stance, I aimed my hand...
...At the mongrel dogs who teach...
...Fearing not that I'd become my enemy...
...In the instant that I preach...
...My existence led by confusion boats...
...Mutiny from stern to bow...
...Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now...
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Last Update: January 13, 2000. 14:30 est.
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